No advance notice. No signal. No premonition. But it happens - from time to time.
When it is time for the stars to twinkle and the moon to dominate the blue sky, it seems that there is a center somewhere that draws strength from the moment. It creates a mystical silence that slowly opens my nocturnal eye. It tickles the cornea and stabilizes my wakefulness. My body is shouting for rest but my eye ignores the begging. Carefree and happy, it travels through my mind’s winged chariot. Distance is immeasurable. Sleep is forgotten.
Weightless, I allowed it to happen. It seems like a choice but in reality it is not. I have no control over it. It happens and it is bound to be repeated. I call it a phenomenon of spontaneity. It brings my whole being to another state, perhaps to another dimension as well. Though my physiology is weary, it is surprising that my senses seem to have adrenaline rush stronger than an about-to-erupt pacific volcano. They are enjoying the travel, the experience and the feeling.
Floating midair, my very conscious being moves in circles. There are times that my feet walk me through a familiar valley yet in a different time. Surprisingly, I can see distant memories and events that are yet to come. Ideas are like fairies sprinkling tiny glitters in every loop they make. A kaleidoscope of thoughts highlights the asphalted pathways with vibrant colors and pastel ones too. My walk does not end here or so soon even. It must be somewhere in the maze of moments that I sometimes feel the warmth of a teardrop when I realized that I am just a step away from the brink of the river of insanity.
Very tired, I seek refuge to whatever available abet I can see. I let myself be slaved by the thickness of the milky way. I drown myself with the sweetness of the stingy bees. I engulf all the dots and ovals of human invention with a heart full of hope to be in the plateau of a sound sleep. Disappointment lashes me with the spikes of circumstantial self pity that told me right under my nose that everything I did was just a failure.
Innocent, I stand up as my nocturnal eye is blood shot. Dilated yet hurt. I entrusted everything to my feet. I only have one vengeance – that is to find the way where it will lead me to the end. No thinking involved. No feelings involved. I let the moment unravel itself and bring me to wherever I am supposed to be. I seek no balance. I throw away my box of logic. I hide my parcel of intuition. I lose my personhood. I let everything outside of me rule in arrogance.
Perfect! Spontaneity breeds spontaneity.
In an iota of time, the world I am in halt in perfect timing. A period of the experiential fantasy draws to a close. After two sets of quarters of the never-tired hands of time, I awaken. The angels came down from the nearby heaven to put galaxies in the angles of my eyes. After all, my insomnia is over.